It is extraordinarily difficult to describe, define, categorize, quantify, and qualify the vast expanse of infinite vibrations/dimensions of consciousness we experience (or are capable of experiencing); however, the process of ‘stepping back’ or making efforts to ‘be aware’ of these varying levels of consciousness- almost as if subjecting thoughts, feelings, perceptions to their own reflection in a mirror- can give us lucid glimpses into the nature of our understanding of reality. While the psychological disciplines in academia have the tendency (like all disciplines) to compartmentalize and separate things into discrete groups for the convenience of ‘rational study’, the essence of reality isn’t this exclusive. I only make note of this tendency because often we mistake this ‘story’ of distinct groups to be the raw fiber of reality (whatever that is). Anyway, one could fulfill the requirements of this assignment just by simply opening his/her eyes to the infinite complexity of existence- each moment contains within it boundless sensory, emotional, and conceptual phenomena. To be bored is to not be paying attention. Unfortunately, this ‘Western culture’ is usually saturated with so much information, stimuli, and other mechanisms that distract us from paying attention to what is here now. I think that, of the “categories” listed on the assignment sheet, the majority of us experience Conceptual Thoughts, Thinking, Remembering, and Inner Speech/Self-Talk with the most intensity and regularity, mostly because of the surrounding cultural values, patterns, and belief structures. Rarely do we acknowledge our sensations and perceptions of ‘external objects and events’ (Exteroceptions/Interoceptions) as they are, not as they appear to us through cultural filters. Perhaps there is no such thing as ‘pristine reality’, or objects/events not subject to our individual manipulations- perhaps we do truly construct the versions of reality we experience. I feel, however, that we are both creators and products of the universe. Yesterday, I decided to refrain from eating (I drank tea and juice) for 24 hours, which I do sometimes to cleanse, detoxify, or just give my body a break from consumption. I experienced acute pain and aching from the stomach begging for nourishment as well as the corresponding inflation of egoic mental patterns: Thinking/Inner Speech (deciding/planning what I would eat to break the fast, questioning whether I could withstand the intense hunger or if this respite from food was worth anything); Remembering (recollecting prior fasts and anticipating exteroceptions based upon memory of previous experiences, comparing and contrasting different fasts); Emotional Feelings and Conceptual Thoughts (feeling anger in response to the lack of substance in my body [physical pain becomes emotional], categorizing emotions as negative or unhelpful or stupid and the intensification of fictitious polarities [good v. bad, right v. wrong, etc.]). All of these concepts became more evident as I was meditating in Beacon Hill with a group based within a Vietnamese Buddhist Vipassana tradition because there were fewer distractions from my thoughts & feelings as they are/were. Apart from bodily experiences while fasting, meditation always gives me lucid vision/awareness into a state of being outside of “ordinary consciousness”. Sensory perceptions are enhanced and sharpened; the world comes alive and previously hidden features (sights, sounds, colors, reflections, vibrations, etc.) surface in an elegant unveiling of happening. Usually ignored phenomena (breathing, the beating of a heart, the flexing of muscles, the stretching of tissues) become blissful processes of vitality and being as I return my awareness to the body and out of the left side of my brain (where it usually resides in the form of compulsive thinking/analysis). Strong emotional sensations of love, peace, and tranquility emanate out from the abyss and proliferate through my existence and the universe- the previous conception of inhabiting a ‘separate’ self or skin-encapsulated ego is demolished and shattered as I become the universe and it swiftly merges to become me. I believe this state of being is outside of cultural form, ideology, or thought… I call it the ‘rawness of being’, or the ‘bliss of NOW.’
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